*********************************
The man who took on the banks,
MICHAEL LEWIS – author of Liar's
Poker, Moneyball and The Big
Short – is coming to London.
He'll be talking Wall Street,
whistleblowers and Flash Boys.
Thurs 9 April. Tickets 20 quid
with code FLASH. Go go go!
http://bit.ly/1vzjZIM
*********************************
"I feel like Steely Dan's
presence has never been more
felt in music that's considered
hip and vital" - Mark Ronson
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POPBITCH _ _ _ _
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|_| |_|26.02.15 ISSUE 727
Free email every week
Subscribe http://eepurl.com/XSZoP
Email stories hello@popbitch.com
* John Travolta's sexy subtext
* Ray Quinn's lessons in respect
* Charts: Ellie v Kelly for no 1
------------------------------------
>> Cookolded <<
Rhodes' unamused bouche
As a chef, you'd imagine that
Gary Rhodes would be delighted
to see somebody enjoying their
food. Apparently not.
At a recent event which Gary
attended with his wife, he
was heard tutting audibly
and unmistakably every time
she took a canapé.
------------------------------------
Not to kick her while she's down,
but audience reaction to Madonna's
name was so quiet at the BRITs that
screams were added to the broadcast.
------------------------------------
>> Puppy love <<
Welcoming Paul and Debbie
Kudos to the Dogs' Trust in
Basildon – who have either
pulled off a very sly trick
or have inadvertently made a
bit of a whoopsie.
We've no idea if they've
heard the same, well-known
showbiz rumours we've all
heard (about some photographs
of a very satisfied Alsatian)
but we're very much enjoying
their decision to name the
two newest puppies in their
family after...
Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee.
------------------------------------
Robbie Williams has been responsible
(in part or in whole) for six of the
last 25 BRIT-winning Singles of the
Year. Bleak, right?
------------------------------------
>> Big Question <<
Who's asking what this week?
Who started the ridiculous
rumour that's been going
around MTV this week that
Nicole Scherzinger is actually
a very convincing ladyboy?
------------------------------------
Ed Sheeran won the BRIT for Album
Of The Year last night – which
fits the 25 year trend precisely:
http://bit.ly/1Ddk42m
------------------------------------
>> Brokered promises <<
Don't get done, get Don
What with all the "Gary Barlow
Tax Dodger" stories that have
been floating about these last
few years, it's easy to forget
quite how fallow the late 90s
were for our Gary.
Back in 1999, Gary was trying
to arrange mortgage finance so
he could buy himself a place
in France, but he didn't have
much in the way of income at
the time. How did he manage
to secure himself a loan? By
telling brokers that he was
in the process of writing a
hit album for Donny Osmond.
------------------------------------
Mark Ronson won Single Of The Year
at the BRITs for Uptown Funk – which
kind of fits the 25 year trend too:
http://bit.ly/1ByXaHS
------------------------------------
>> Cockwatching <<
A big surprise...
In hulking great wang news,
word reaches us that Simon
Calder – the travel writer
and presenter – possesses
a surprisingly huge cock.
Apparently, in his travel
show presenting days he was
not at all shy about showing
off his bulge.
Whether he had to pull down
his trousers for a microphone
pack to be fitted, or whether
it was his choice of rather
snug swimwear, his colleagues
could scarcely avoid it.
(Legal footnote: it should be
noted, especially in current
climate, that Simon was very
well-behaved around others
– and kept it to himself.)
------------------------------------
After Nothing's Going To Change My
Love For You, Glenn Medeiros got a
degree and teaching doctorate. He's
now a Vice Principal in Hawaii.
------------------------------------
>> Pap smears <<
Dubai holiday rules
Given that it is forbidden by
law to work as a paparazzo in
Dubai, it's strange how many
celebrities who holiday there
happen to find themselves being
photographed and plastered all
over the media.
If you ever do see any 'papped'
shots of celebs in Dubai, then
this is what has happened.
The celebs are likely to have
stayed in the Royal Meridien
Hotel and will have been given
the room for free by the Dubai
Tourism Authority in order
to help promote the city.
Every one of those pictures
in the tabs and the glossies
will have to have been arranged
beforehand by the celebs and
then cleared for use by the
Tourism Authority too.
------------------------------------
Real celebs (like George Clooney)
stay at the Burj Al Arab or the
Al Maha. Consequently, they stay
well out of any photographs.
------------------------------------
>> Pity Brucknell <<
Euro tunnel-vision
Poor Kitty Brucknell. Having
tirelessly hauled ass around
Europe for months searching
for a country who would let
her represent them at the
Eurovision this year, her
hopes have now been dashed.
Switzerland already declined
her services back in November
and now this week her back-up,
Moldova, also dropped her - as
just 88 people cast a vote for
her in their televised semis.
Kitty is heartbroken, and
it's making us sad to see,
so if any countries are still
needing an entry for 2015,
please do get in touch.
------------------------------------
5ive played a low key gig at a Dubai
golf club recently. Despite being
pop legends, they flew economy.
------------------------------------
>> Travolting <<
Multimedia creepiness
Surprising though it was
to see a seasoned swordsman
like John Travolta being
so creepy and unnatural
around women at the Oscars,
we have to say it wasn't
completely unexpected. In fact,
his behaviour rather reminded
us of the main character in
the one and only work of
fiction that John Travolta
wrote and published.
In it, an eight year old boy
(a plane fanatic) fawns over
all of the female characters
in a very suspicious manner;
while simultaneously whipping
himself into a giddy frenzy
at the prospect of being
given two hot dogs at once
in an abandoned airport...
Whatever could it all mean?
------------------------------------
We pulled out some of the best
quotes in that Travolta book.
See what you make of it all:
http://bit.ly/1akblnZ
------------------------------------
>> Duff respect <<
Finding the silver lining
One word that gets bandied
around whenever celebrities
want to keep a story out of
the press is "respect". In
particular, celebrities are
keen that the press respect
the privacy of their family.
Which is all very well and
good, but it would help if
celebs could occasionally
lead by example.
Ventriloquist dummy come to
life, Ray Quinn, put out a
four sentence statement about
his divorce this week. Here
are two of them:
"Despite this obviously being
a very difficult period in my
life I am keeping busy with
my new music and will be
continuing with my UK tour
and the release of my new
single as planned."
"For any questions regarding
this matter please liaise
with Ray's manager..."
How very respectful!
------------------------------------
Nom Dem of the week: The information
manager at Compassion In Dying is
called... Usha Grieve.
------------------------------------
>> London's Troughman <<
Even more golden moments
citywhiz writes:
"Talking of urinary dedication,
there was a chap who used
to go to Hampstead Heath at
night with his own inflatable
paddling pool, so he could be
hosed down. While not my scene
I had to admire his dedication
and to refuse would have seemed
impolite."
Interview with the real Troughman:
http://voc.tv/1woLW6X
------------------------------------
Ne-Yo's real name is Shaffer
Chimere Smith. But his dad is also
called Shaffer so his mum calls
him Chimere (pronounced Shim-ear).
------------------------------------
>> Hmmms <<
Charts, cones, creepy eyes
The album charts are changing.
James Masterton explains how
streaming is altering things:
http://bit.ly/1MRWyjl
Fancy a five hundred
quid ice cream?
http://bit.ly/17yINFP
For all your kitchen
worktop needs:
http://www.bollocktops.com
We sat down with the
Backstreet Boys and got
their tips on starting
our own boy band:
http://bit.ly/1BfTd9k
Frozen - as directed
by John Carpenter:
http://bit.ly/1JMoFBs
Todd Terje remixing Jolene:
http://bit.ly/1814Bts
T-shirt of the week:
http://bit.ly/1BUF2Yp
************************************
Thanks: RM, JE, citywhiz, HD,
fat gay vegan, deep_stoat, meow
ourmanindubai, NC, deidre,
bogarts_lung,
************************************
Old Jokes Home:
Had a bad mixup at the store today.
Cashier said strip down facing me.
Apparently he meant my credit card.
Still Bored?
Long time Popbitch contributor
John Eder has a great new sci-fi
podcast out. If you're a fan of
Black Mirror, Dr. Who, and the
Twilight Zone, listen to To The
Manor Borne By Robots here:
http://bit.ly/16n83OQ
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