Cocky, opinionated and crackers

*********************************
## "I ##### killed ###############
the ######## head ###### of #####
####### the ################ Irish
#### mafia" ######### Watch ######
'The ##### Mafia #### with #######
##Trevor McDonald'######## on ITV.
http://bit.ly/MafiaWithTrevorMcDonaldTrailer
**********************************

"If being cocky, opinionated and
a bit crackers was enough to get
you turfed off the line up at
Glastonbury, it'd be pretty
empty backstage" - Tim Burgess
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POPBITCH _ _ _ _
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| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 19.03.15 ISSUE 730
Free email every week
Subscribe http://eepurl.com/XSZoP
Email stories hello@popbitch.com
* Swedish sign language
* Fine dining with Michael Bublé
* Charts: Comic Relief still No. 1
------------------------------------


>> Greekonomics <<
Yanis's bit on the side

Hipster Greek Finance Minister
Yanis Varoufakis is getting a
fair bit of stick this week.
First, Prime Minister Tsipras
told him to keep a lower profile,
then came that Paris Match photo
shoot, then the faked finger-
to-Germany video circulated.

Still, if things continue to go
wrong for him, at least they
won't have to resort to the
same sort of belt-tightening
as the rest of the country, as
the Varoufakis family appear to
be renting out their luxury
Aegina island villa... for
5,000 euros a week.

Austerity? What austerity?

Want to rent it?
http://bit.ly/1CwnZve

------------------------------------
Heather Mills sold her failed vegan
cafe to Norman Cook. It's still
going strong – and now serves meat.
------------------------------------


>> Bring back hacking! <<
A look in the Mirror

Now that they can't hack phones
any more, how are the Mirror
getting their stories? From
reading Popbitch, it seems.

Last Thursday's Popbitch:
"The words used are said to
be something along the lines
of "...you lazy fucking
Irish cunt?"

Last Saturday's Mirror:
"World Exclusive. Jeremy
Clarkson allegedly called
Top Gear producer 'lazy
Irish ****'"

In fairness to the Mirror,
their coverage of Clarkson's
fracas has been really good.
But 'world exclusive'? At least
the two papers who rang us up
about it offered to credit us.


------------------------------------
Three UK judges were sacked this
week for watching porn on their
work computers.
------------------------------------


>> Big Questions <<
Who's asking what this week?

Which pint-sized soap star-
turned-singer, currently on
the comeback trail, has been
supplementing her income by
sleeping with rich Arab men
for £1m a pop?


------------------------------------
The National Institute of Water
and Atmospheric research in New
Zealand has an ecotoxicologist
called... Dr Sue Clearwater.
------------------------------------


>> Neighbourhood witch <<
Making friends at Ramsey St

Madge's resurrection for the
Neighbours anniversary special
might please fans of the show,
but is unlikely to charm those
behind the scenes.

Actress Anne Charleston has been
telling anyone who will listen
how much she hated the cast and
crew when she started - and that
they hated her too.

She's certainly right on that
second point. "Vile", "disgusting",
"egotistical" and "monstrous" are
just some of the kinder epithets
her colleagues are still using
to describe the actress.


------------------------------------
The first episode of the upcoming
animated Thunderbirds reboot is
written by David Baddiel.
------------------------------------


>> Bublé and squeak <<
Mickey's mouse food

Poor Michael Bublé hasn't made
quite the splash he'd hoped to
in Dubai. He performed a couple
of gigs there recently which
were so sparsely attended that
the organisers took to shunting
people around the quarter-full
cricket stadium to try to close
up the huge gaps.

It obviously took a toll on
little Mickey's appetite.
Rather than choosing to dine
in any of Dubai's many world-
class restaurants, he opted
instead to take his meals at
the local Chuck E Cheese.


------------------------------------
When Bublé landed in Dubai he got
off the plane wearing some smart
lace-up shoes. Without any laces
in them. Or any socks.
------------------------------------


>> Makin' paper <<
The champagne socialist party

Always looking for newer, more
cutting-edge ways to haemorrhage
money, the Guardian's latest
scheme to raise funds is with
a new 'membership' model. It's
kind of like a fan club (but
one that costs £540 a year if
you want to get any freebies).

And what are they doing with
all that money? Why, what any
respectable, left-leaning,
socially conscious newspaper
would do. Sponsoring white tie
balls with champagne receptions
at Cambridge – with tickets
going at £350 a pair.

Fancy going?
http://bit.ly/1MMlUy8


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_|\ _/|_,
,((\\``-\\\\_
,(()) `))\
,(())) ,_ \
((())' | \
))))) >.__ \
(((' / `-. .c|
/ `-`'
Think you know your movie mobsters
from real-life mafioso? Here's an
offer you can't refuse.
http://bit.ly/MoborNot
*********************************


>> Sky fall <<
Yet more Clarkson

Desperate media spinning from
the Clarkson camp this week
suggests that all the talk
about him having no problems
walking straight onto another
channel might have been a little
short-sighted.

Sources at Sky say despite his
closeness to the Murdoch empire
(column in the Sun; friend of
Rebekah Brooks) they'd have some
problems offering him a deal.
Legal problems. For if Andy Gray
and Richard Keys lost their jobs
after ostensibly bullying junior
colleagues – with "unacceptable
and offensive behaviour" – how
could they welcome Jezza and not
risk Keys' and Gray's legal bods
revisiting their case?

Seems like it's not just the BBC
who are anxiously awaiting the
results of its investigation...


------------------------------------
The Mail on Sunday magazine asked
Jo Wood: "Who do you most despise?"
Her answer: "The people making
genetically modified food."
------------------------------------


>> Heart of glass <<
No escape from lost love

GH writes:
"I've an addition to your
Patsy Kensit spot. You'd think
Mauritius would be far enough
away to avoid any reminders of
her former beau, so let's hope
she didn't visit one of island's
finer tourist attractions, The
Mauritius Glass Gallery.

"Inside is quite the collection
of celebrity hand prints cast
in glass. Most are of famous
French folk, but there's a very
few British faces, and hands.
Among them Liam Gallagher, in
a dressing gown and looking
fairly glum."

Take a look:
http://bit.ly/1EuwLqh


------------------------------------
Jim Kerr's friends have a charming
nickname for him. They call him
"Fatty Kerr".
------------------------------------


>> Eurovisual aids <<
The one good sign

All 40 countries have announced
their entries for this year's
Eurovision and we've got to
say we're feeling a little
uninspired by the selection.

Thank heavens then for Tommy
Krångh – the Swedish sign
language translator who put
his whole heart and soul into
his interpretations at last
weekend's Melodifestivalen.
Even though he's not eligible
for the prize, he's already
the real winner in our eyes.

Ready to see the best sign
language performance since
Nelson Mandela's memorial?

Watch:
http://bit.ly/1bfyAQM


*********************************
Foo Fighters play Wembley Stadium
on 19/20th June. Popbitch readers
can enjoy some of the best views
in the house from premium seats
in the Bobby Moore section.
Drinks-based hospitality packages
available from £199pp (inc VAT).
0208 795 9540 for tickets, or visit
http://bit.ly/1xykzlF
*********************************


>> Hmmms <<
Zebras, Kindles, circumcision

Interesting eye-witness
you've got there, Norfolk:
http://bit.ly/1EqTyDc

James Franco, being an
absolute bell once again:
http://bit.ly/1B01Ekb

Could James Franco
have nicked his whole
pretentious author act
off Macaulay Culkin?
http://bit.ly/1FD1SUu

White people angry
about Kanye:
http://bit.ly/1GXDmfc

Type in a sentence; hear
it spoken out by a bunch
of film clips:
https://www.crumbles.co/

Which Aussie celebs have
a trimmed foreskin?
http://www.helmetorhoodie.weebly.com

Sir Trevor McDonald gives a
behind the scenes account
of his run-in with the Mafia:
http://bit.ly/MafiaWithTrevorQandA

The world's finest
e-book covers:
http://bit.ly/18KxsTH


************************************
Thanks: monstris, MMc, meow, pauly,
NR, G, AM, ulysses, GH, B, SA, RP
************************************

Old Jokes Home:
Q/ What's the best thing
about Switzerland?

A/ Well, there's the flag.
That's a big plus.


Still Bored?
Are Saga and Shredded Wheat affecting
the album charts? The success of new
Northern Soul compilation Move On Up
suggests so...
http://bit.ly/1BZlroQ

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