Hot Scoop

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"I walk around every day with a
radio playing constantly in my
head, and this radio station
plays a lot of hits" - R Kelly
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POPBITCH _ _ _ _
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| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_|03.09.15 ISSUE 752
Free email every week
Subscribe http://eepurl.com/XSZoP
Email stories hello@popbitch.com
* Fatman Scoop's sex education
* Jobs for the boys' dads
* Charts: Bieber's first no.1?
------------------------------------


>> Another take <<
Let me re-entertain you

Maybe you saw Robbie Williams'
recent tweet of desperation?
The photo of him, backstage at
the O2 with the three remaining
members of Take That – branded
with the hashtag #letmebackin?

Looks like his public begging
has been rewarded. Word is
that preparations are underway
for the fourth iteration of
Take That.

Barlow, Donald, Owen...
and Williams!


------------------------------------
Gruesome Twosome: There are some
horrible, horrible rumours doing
the rounds that Rupert Murdoch's
new squeeze is... Jerry Hall.
------------------------------------


>> Shaken Bacon <<
Great taste in tunes

Richard Bacon would have made
a better drivetime host for
Radio X than Johnny Vaughan,
but we have a feeling we know
why he didn't get the gig. A
Popbitch reader told us they
saw Bacon rocking out ("with
no rhythm whatsoever") to
Joan Osborne's 1995 single
One of Us, loudly declaring
"This is the BEST song!"

With taste like that, how
could Bacon keep pace with
dadrock DJ luminaries like
Moylesie and Vernon Kay?


FYI: Vaughan's just been spotted
on holiday in Sardinia, "gobbing
off in the restaurant at the
top of his voice, much to the
annoyance of everyone else."


------------------------------------
Ashley Tabor (boss of Global Radio
– which owns Capital/Radio X) used
to share a flat with new Radio X
breakfast host Chris Moyles.
------------------------------------


>> Big Questions <<
Who's asking what this week?

The failure of which latest
big-screen remake of a classic
TV show has been blamed on bad
casting choices? Studio execs
have been pointing fingers at
one actor in particular, saying
his inability to act wasn't
even their biggest problem.
It was the rate at which he
hoovered up gak.


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************************************


>> Merked, bruv <<
Just not enough muff

Cradle To Grave, the new comedy
series based on Danny Baker's
memoirs starts on BBC2 tonight.

There's a scene in it where a
young Danny and sister go and
see a 70s musical, obviously
based on Hair, in which everyone
starts dancing naked on stage.

Only problem was, most of the
extras hired for the show didn't
have the requisite exuberant
70s style pubic hair, so they
were given pubic wigs to wear.

Take a look to see if you can
spot the fakes.


------------------------------------
R Kelly has written 462 songs for
his new album. (Which, unrelatedly,
is 51 songs for each person listed
on the UK's sperm bank register.)
------------------------------------


>> Hot Scoop <<
Fatman and wife

Nice to see Fatman Scoop on
television. We've had our
fingers crossed for years that
he'd get the chance to shine
on TV – as his sex advice web
series 'Man And Wife' is some
of the internet's greatest
viewing.

Whether he's giving advice on
how to finger your wife, using
a melon as a prop; whether it's
drawing out a sixty-nine like
it's an American football
playbook; or whether he's giving
advice to women who get chewing
gum stuck in their pubic hair,
Scoop is a sex guru second to
none. So we collected together
some of our favourite moments
to share with you...

Fatman Scoop's sex ed:
http://bit.ly/1XjBrvB


------------------------------------
Thom Yorke has been holidaying in
Ravello, showing off his new bird
to other holidaymakers with some
fairly public displays of yoga.
------------------------------------


>> On the Rox <<
This is how Rumers start

Rumer Willis was supposed to
start playing Roxie Hart in
Chicago last month, but her
debut has been delayed until
mid-September. Some Broadway
insiders wonder if this delay
might prove ongoing as the
largely untrained celebrity
is said to be having problems
with the dance routines.

And the songs.

And the singing and dancing
together.

None of this is helped by the
punishing rehearsal routines
playing havoc with her body.
All in all it's looking a
little Martine McCutcheon.


------------------------------------
Major Tim Laurence (Princess Anne's
husband) spotted at Green Park tube
popping some money into a busker's
guitar case.
------------------------------------


>> Ronanism <<
Secrets of a silent storm

It was nice to see Ronan
Keating's wedding to Australian
TV producer Storm Uechtritz in
the pages of Hello! last week
as the lovebirds already have
such a long shared history
together.

Ronan's divorce may only have
come through in May but he and
Storm were already so close
back in 2010 that she helped
him through that difficult time
after his affair with the
backing dancer when he was
estranged from his wife. And,
even though she too was also
married at the time, she was
very willing to devote time
to help him get through the
period following when he got
his then-wife Yvonne to pose
for endless magazine shoots
and interviews about how they
were trying to reconcile.


------------------------------------
Storm is a pretty cool name, but
there have been suggestions her
birth name was actually Sharon.
------------------------------------


>> Thin and Kiss-py <<
Paul's pizza the action

Paul Stanley from Kiss has
a strange addiction – to
pre-made pizza dough. He
loves the stuff so much that
staff at his local Trader
Joe's have been keeping
tabs on the amount he buys.

His current record is 24
packets in one purchase.

He also has a pro-tip for
anyone who asks him about
proving the dough. He'll
tell you to ignore the
instructions on the packet.
They say to leave the dough
out for half an hour; but
Paul Stanley recommends you
leave it out for two hours.
That's how you get that
proper 'New York' bite.
Apparently.


Has a celebrity given you their
slightly mundane but actually–
quite–useful domestic tips?
Email us: hello@popbitch.com


------------------------------------
The first Eurovision rumour sent in
to us? Olly Murs for UK 2016...
------------------------------------


>> Father figures II <<
Jobs for the boys' dads

A few weeks ago we mentioned
that the sneaky new way that
football agents were getting
top players to sign for them
was by employing their dads.

Doyen Global signed Calum
Chambers this summer (a few
weeks after his stepdad got
a job with them), but the
practice also seems to be
happening at 10Ten Talent
where Jack Wilshere is a
client. They also have
Jack's dad AND his brother
on their payroll.


------------------------------------
Eurovision swingers Electro Velvet
postponed crowdfunding their new EP
after just 91 people signed up.
------------------------------------


>> Pearls from Dean <<
Worst named dog gets sequel

A few weeks back someone told
us Dean Gaffney was going back
to EastEnders, so we stuck it
in here as a quick fact. Cue
an irate BBC press office
ringing up to complain we'd
broken an embargo. An embargo
we knew nothing about.

The main complaint was that the
Sun had promised to go big on
this "exclusive" but wouldn't
now that everyone already knew.

Security has obviously been
tightened up, as the Sun had
another Gaffney exclusive
this week that we weren't
able to spoil. The big news?
His character has a new dog,
called Wellard Two. ("There
was a tinge of sadness that
he would not have his trusty
sidekick. He may not have the
same dog, but hopefully
Wellard Two will go some
way to filling that void.")

Exactly the kind of dynamite
story that news embargoes
were created for.


************************************
THE POPBITCH POPQUIZ – NEXT TUESDAY
Join us on Tuesday 8th Sept at
Smiths of Spitalfields. Trivia,
gossip, music and madness. Entry:
5GBP. Win great prizes. Reserve
your table - buy tickets here:
http://bit.ly/1UEzPKs
************************************


>> Hmmms <<
Beer, Kanye, Mods

Disguise your beer cans
as coffee cups:
http://kck.st/1UumBxX

Science says that Shake It
Off was a big hit for the
same reason Stewart Lee is
so successful:
http://bit.ly/1LNvznU

Songwriter's perspective on
PRS v Soundcloud:
http://bit.ly/1FlbNeH

Kanye's VMAs speech, set
to Seinfeld:
http://bit.ly/1JB3Qny

Grab your 'West/Swift 2020'
T-shirts quick, before
Taylor Swift has them all
pulled and set on fire:
http://etsy.me/1XkpOoc

What happens to your
luggage at the airport?
http://bit.ly/1JDBAD1

The tropical house sound is
EVERYWHERE right now. Kygo
has been giving the treatment
to fellow Norwegian stars a-ha,
with a Caribbean re-working
of Take On Me:
http://bit.ly/1LNCGN7

Catch the mod bug with this
compilation curated by Eddie
Piller of Acid Jazz records:
http://bit.ly/1UoP6m1


************************************
Thanks to: monstris, 7zark7, B,
NH, celtiagirl, CS, MF, RI, BL,
raymondmarble
************************************


Old Jokes' Home:
Q/ What do cannibals eat?
A/ Baked beings

Still Bored?
18 years on and still no-one has
questioned Morrissey on his obvious
involvement in the death of Diana:
http://www.dianamystery.com/


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